Mercy: a social category or perfection of the person?

To our interlocutor to the Metropolitan Surozhsky Антонию 74 years. The son of the Russian envoy in Persia and sisters of composer Skryabin, in the early childhood it has appeared on foreign land. In 30th studied at medical institute. In 40 — participated in Resistance, In the late fifties has arrived to the USSR, since then these trips repeat almost annually … Both the age, and experience, and a name — all, apparently, grants to this person the right only to learn listening to it. But in the main theme of conversation the thought has poured out: we should study at children.

— In the Gospel there are many mentions of children. The Christ addresses to apostles: «Be as children». Tell, education — process unilateral  or it has the return, not less important communication useful both for the senior, and for the younger?

— See, in this question there are two parties. I would like to begin with last. In any measure interaction always is, but at very many parents, tutors and at many priests — illusion, that they should learn, and others should study, whereas there is much that can learn from pupils, from children. And first of all those who wants or should learn, urged to study to listen attentively and peer. The child speaks not adult language, but he always speaks about the things having enormous value. It opens the world with such unique speed, after all on it the history of millenia falls, and it should during short time in all understand and occupy the position. And here parents and instructors imagine, that they can choose that is necessary for them from this complex or to what they have learnt is favourable, and to impart it to the child that it was by all means issued on their sample and representation. Whereas the child could learn to see them things as they are instead of as they are imagined by adults. Adults are not sensitive to that children sharply perceive and worry. Here an example from our emigrant last life. There was among us a remarkable priest, spiritual both prayful, and the amazing preacher. And to someone has taken in head to ask to address it to children. Have collected children from 7 years to 15, along walls settle adults, and invited has led discussion from which adults were in perfect delight. And professor Zander, the pupil of an island of Sergija Bulgakov, has caught any little boy of years of seven and asks with impatience: «Well, how was?» And the boy has answered it: «Was so interestingly but as it is a pity, that the father does not believe that he speaks!» He was mistaken, the father trusted, but he was not able to transfer it to children. Any of adults of it has not caught, whereas the child has caught, that all is spoken from any distance, instead of in the course of deep dialogue.

It is very important for parents, tutors, for all who is engaged in children: to listen. To listen with a keen interest, understanding, that the child knows more than you imagine, and to it is accessible more than to you. You have already got used to this world, and at it the look has not got used, the hearing has not got used, the scent has not got used …

And now other theme. Yes, the Gospel speaks to us: «Be as children». But it does not speak: be greenhorns about day of your death. It is a tragical thing in experience of pupils when they think, that they have no need to listen to a mysterious course of human soul. As a result the obedience meaning both etymologically, and ascetically «attempt to learn to listen all being to outgrow itself, to join in experience больший, than you», turn to enslavement: «to You it is told — and do!» As a result, instead of bringing up mature people, we bring up the people infected with infantility.

Such people who if they enough послушливы also are passive, will be your shade. If they are not that, they will howl and will rebel against you, against school, against church, against army against what want instead of from dialogue with us to learn to solve independently the challenges.

One of the most characteristic in children of things is a trustfulness. To ability with intense attention and interest to listen. And we kill it in them and in ourselves. We should study at children of freshness of attitude when all is new every day!

— You in the life participated in charity affairs much. Unfortunately, we have lost this experience, and today it is necessary to begin practically on a naked place. What main problems and what dangers, in your opinion, wait for the people who have entered on this field?

— To me two things on mind come … the First — no charity does achieve the object, if it remains only physical action: to feed, dress and т, д. If the person does not feel in the philanthropist of compassion, the present care is only humiliation and the insult. I remember, how during war, occupation couple of days did not eat and have come to a companion. On a table at it the cucumber and боле anything laid. I have entered to the friend and have not seen it, I saw only a cucumber. The friend speaks: «You did not eat». I have nodded. And it has pulled down a cucumber half-and-half, has given me half, and we ate a cucumber as something sacred.

Other case. Before war I was the tutor and the doctor in children's summer camp and went barefoot because at me was only one steam of boots. By there passed the peasant, and he has exclaimed: «You that, the perfect idiot? Look, how many here glasses beaten!» I have explained to it in what business, and he has ordered to me to wait, have run to myself home and have brought to me pair of boots. And these boots were besides not a tip, and incarnate care, incarnate kindness.

It is impossible to depersonalize charity. If it is depersonalized, the charity subject inevitably becomes a parasite. He is assured, that as in all it hearts are not present, — means, it has on this right and can be a parasite of a society, the organisation, all people, which are silly enough to respond on its moaning.

At us in Paris a vein one woman who was engaged in charity among Russian. It enquired and gave until someone has not thrown to it back on a table its money with words: «it is not necessary For me, I not a vagrant dog. At you hearts are not present!» — also has left … After that it was reconstructed and began to arrive in another way. She talked and asked, and then spoke: «Here I can make it for you. And tell, than you can help? What can give? On what you are capable? Ah, you the house painter? Well, here to you money, help one family to make repair». And it has changed at once conditions of its work.

From my practice I know: happen, and it is very frequent, minutes when you material cannot give anything, but you can give to the person attention, compassion, can give it any time, a part of the life, and this possibility plays a huge role …

— Because it is most difficult, more difficult, than simply to submit money …

— Yes. But it and that is most of all necessary for people. Without half of cucumber you will manage, and without that in you someone has seen the person, — is not present, you will not manage. That is once you will manage, and then for what: it will be any mutual расчеловечивание.

— Now the question on participation of church in mercy affairs is widely discussed. Many disputes. In a weekly journal "Family" directly polar responses to this theme, for example, have been printed. One reader votes both hands for mercy informal, on heart call. And another worries: whether it becomes close in temples? What your opinion in this respect?

Is can yield kind fruits if the believers coming to orphans, to old men or cripples, remember, that it not conditions where they can be engaged in religious propagation, the Person has the right to care of you, on the care which is starting with any source, on care, nothing caused. The unique inevitable situation is when requiring directly in you will feel that it never and in anybody did not meet. It can cause a question. And you have the right to answer. But not as religious training and to explain: yes, I the believer, belief learn me to arrive and so, whether yes it is not enough that learns — all of us very different people. And all. I was the doctor of 15 years: 5 years were the student, 5 years — in army and on war, 5 years practised — and I know — everywhere where I worked, to me set questions: why you arrive so, instead of differently? Why you on me have time? What is the trouble? it is necessary to answer such questions something like that: Know, here not a place to speak about personal belief, but I am am learnt to it by the Gospel. It is possible to answer a direct question, but it is impossible to use another's compassion or need for planting of any doctrine, whatever it was. I am passionately convinced of it! How you work as concern people, — the best answer. It is quite enough of it.

— Владыко, today, as it is far not idle, the question sounds: «Where to a family to search for a support?» Recollect with a view of self-complacency of an inscription on Sumer tablets: the pier, is eternal problems … But now it is really cunning to edge.

— Tell, how your way on what to hope?

— If today adults were adults, younger would be to be tried on to what but when the adult is the same greenhorn as his son or the daughter of 16 years, only with that difference, that he has the right to dispose future, to give all orders, — troubles are inevitable,

I think, that we should mature today. In all areas.