That children pleased heart

That children pleased heart

In big family Дудинцевых — sixteen persons. Vladimir Dmitrievich and his wife Natalia Fedorovna have grown up and have brought up four children, and now grandsons grow in a family — them already six …

In the novel «White clothes» In, D.Dudintsevym is given the sample of high, true love, that positive example which has today for all of us special value.

— Vladimir Dmitrievich how you consider, what is necessary for the modern man and the woman at least to come nearer to an ideal?

— The main thing — ability to sincere love and to a self-estimation before decision-making on marriage. The serious estimation of the circumstances leading to marriage, ability all is necessary it is good to weigh before this solving step. It is no secret, that young men often thoughtlessly approach to this question: say, you will think, it will not turn out — we will divorce … there should not be even a thought such before the introduction into marriage! Initially sitting in subconsciousness, it has at once destructive influence, And afflictions, stresses, sections of wedding gifts begin then, tears of the child … Were great sense that during former times of the groom and the bride necessarily resulted in the house of parents for acquaintance. After all it is very important — for estimating, whether "joining" between two families, attitudes is possible basically, whether there is a similarity, whether mutual understanding is possible . And can be, it is not necessary to hurry up with wedding as old men "have scented" something and may be, what young after a while will find out drama distinction?

The positive principles entered into consciousness of the father and mother and transferred to children, — here that is important for a family. From here an ideal: the clever, thin, loving wife and the reliable teetotal husband which tries to provide a family. And that these деньга were spent not for something vain, minor, and on healthy, harmonious development of children. To me has had the luck: I grew in an amicable, intelligent family. The stepfather — Dmitry Ivanovich Dudintsev was the land surveyor-zemleustroitel, and mother — Claudia Vladimirovna Zhihareva — the singer of an operetta. Every evening in our house there passed evenings of playing music. The stepfather had a pleasant baritone, at mother of a-mezzo-soprano, the brother of the stepfather uncle Vanja with a violin came, and together they made a magnificent trio. To listen to them and to look at them it was a pleasure! These musical house evenings remained in my memory for all life … And now when at me grandsons already grow, I feel, how my language, my hands my parents operate.

Understand, true intellectuals and well put families create an original bringing up impulse which influences a course of centuries, and accumulate the main riches of the people • — its intellectual, moral and physical potential. I am assured, that is moral also physically sick children grow there where reign lie, dissociation where there are no family traditions where as that is not present a family. Bad children — punishment, payment for incorrectly lived years. And good — our pleasure, our hope, the biggest capital in a life. Know, at all my friends and acquaintances who lived hardly, in works, in upholding of the basic moral position, all it was wonderfully showed in children. So happens and in my destiny.

Conclusion one: the best way воcпитать children such that they pleased parental heart, it never to hide the experiences, to be with them extremely sincere. Let they see, that their father or mother suffers from collision with any social circumstances, let study to understand, for what the parent struggles, to that resists, to that resists. Then from this early inclusion during a social life at them simultaneously social consciousness and the best human qualities will develop. And then your children so will ripen, that it will be possible to set it any questions and to receive from them surprising answers,

— Vladimir Dmitrievich, we spread many years idea of a priority "public" over "personal", works — over the house, a family and as today we see, have overdone with introduction of this stereotype. The interrelation of public processes with private life of people became the obvious fact. What drunkenness in a family, sick children, "difficult", uncontrollable teenagers, disappearance of ideals sees to you in the sad, destructive phenomena for a society, such, how increase in children's homes   ?

— Much sees … The matter is that all in a life is interconnected by amazing image, sometimes come to really индуистским to conclusions, that everyone жучок, each leaf of a tree there are in surprising harmony with all and everything, as in general all live in the nature. And when through a prism of this harmony you will look at certain disharmonious processes in community of people, that, naturally, got used to reflect the head builds at once a certain logic chain and see roots … We, unfortunately, many years destroyed the person who was formed by previous centuries. We have weakened a society, having decapitated it and having destroyed intelligency, I mean intelligence not as erudition and as presence of the moral beginnings of the highest test doing the person by a being, capable to forget about and to concentrate on service to another. And we in a society throughout decades had a selection in which result became those who brings ideas in consciousness of weights … you a little have noticed, we in a press had such manner — to ascertain any disgrace, and then to question: «As it could happen?» And so, if to collect all these numerous questions, on them it is possible to give one answer: happens because few persons bringing ideas in consciousness of weights. Hands are, and the head — is not present! Thank God, recently this warp starts to be corrected …

— There were many publications with reflexions about female work. Is among them and very courageous … it is clear, that female work is necessary for economy, and nobody stands up for immediately to return the woman to a home, diapers and pans. But costs of so-called emancipation became obvious. After all along with type of the "business" woman there is a woman completely focused on a family and education of children, — unless the society does not presume to work to it in a family? Will win from it everything, after all children — our future … As you look at this actual problem?

— It seems to me, it is not necessary to philosophise crafty, it is necessary to look back a little back and to take also into consideration world experience. To look at vital way at least Finland from which I have returned recently. There do not shout at all crossroads about great achievements and social gains, and live to itself on the sly, work, raise children … And the Finnish man, enamoured in the wife, can provide education not one, but five children.

 What to us to do? The woman needs to be rescued! You see, in orange jackets they drag rails and concrete, stocky, similar to heavyweights-weight lifters, asphalt highway and terribly smoke and drink are to somebody it is pleasant? And what will be further? And how all it will affect our posterity? And so, not to spoil the wives, it is necessary to understand, that the woman has a specific anatomic structure, and it is necessary to stop immediately it to maintain! It is necessary to stop to "leave" at the expense of "female" work and to give a full-time job at last men. Feel, how I have made a reservation? It is necessary to load them! That they will load themselves, is not enough hope. And the most important thing — it is necessary to regret the woman-mother, but for this purpose the man should have a certain set of moral-ethical  installations, moral principles, outlooks on life and mutual relation of people. The academy педнаук puzzles — how to bring up? We, in Russia, had a wonderful soul — soul of Decembrists, народовольцев, петрашевцев, magnificent conscientious writers and philosophers. It was the mycelium which and further could fructify. But this mycelium have watered with kerosene and we have set fire … Here and we reap the fruits of these acts …

Today to us it is necessary not only definitive cancellation of the criminal project of turn of northern rivers. It is necessary to return the river of national consciousness to its natural current.

— Divorce was before the big rarity and was perceived as tragedy, wreck in a life. It is now perceived and worried easier …

— I against divorce. If comprehensively to investigate getting divorced pair the suffering party which sincerely loves will necessarily be found out. And so, how I regard a family situation when one of spouses has grown cold? At the person guarding emotion preserving a family should join. The decent person should to argue, in my opinion, approximately so: yes, I have grown cold, but it to me is betrayed, whether I Have is right to arrive so, what it will not have any love, and at me together with new love will be two? When the choice is necessary — for whom to suffer? To the one who loves you also to you trusts, or you? The answer can be one: «to Suffer it is necessary to me as to me it is offered destiny and circumstances to choose. And let nobody knows about my experiences, especially children». I am convinced, that this most moral decision.

Unfortunately, now all differently. And when at «these things» look easier and get divorced without sufferings, there is natural притупление feelings, a displacement of moral reference points. You ask any drinking man who has lost a human face (or the woman), talk about a life, and it will appear, that in the past there were changes, there was a divorce … In my novel «White clothes» there is one very important episode for me. Remember, Feodor Ivanovich suddenly learns about Eugene Babich's love. Here what logic chain of its reasonings. If I meet it, he then Eugene will be at me already the second love thinks, and what such the second? It is that which faces to the third, the third — before the fourth and so on … And there is a question: and whether there was it love? Really was nothing? It appears, there was simply natural gravitation of young soul which from frequent changes and repetitions has become dull, has grown dim. And the person has lost any very essential, vital paint of the soul …

The one who all the same has made private change of the love, was not kept and has broken — so after all happens, — that bears in itself(himself) loss because the second faces to the third, the third — before the fourth, and so on. So happens to the beginning smoker: has smoked one, the second, third cigarette — and has suddenly felt, that pulls. And to what it conducts, he knows — to illness. It is necessary to stop. And strong-willed effort the person who yet has not collapsed, stops.

But it is always more difficult to stop to the one who has come far,

— You have mentioned a theme of the phenomena dangerous to a family, frankly speaking, малоисследованную a theme in which depth we prefer not to look for it conducts to own discomfort. After all it first of all means — itself to constrain, observe cleanliness of family relations, to set an example to children, because there is no other education, except as a personal example. Let's continue this line of conversation …

— Please. Also I will tell without bragging, making a start from own experience, for the man it is necessary to study to operate myself in the face of dangerous circumstances, I am compelled to praise now myself because has stopped to smoke and drink. Should tell, I smoked cigarettes "Belomorkanal" one for another, but have stopped most decisively because this bad habit prevents to live and work, is injurious to health of the house. I have consulted and with other fatal predilection — to alcohol. To me, the past war from it «наркомовскими» in hundred grammes, well-known as there was this predilection. And I was the big expert in this respect. But already I am a lot of years I break myself, I manage over myself, I am was insolent … And I consider, that such possibility is at everyone. To operate itself in the face of dangerous to a family and marriage of circumstances — here that today for the husband and the father most important …

— But for family strengthening it is necessary, obviously to start talking at last in all voice and about a motherhood cult, about true respect for the woman-mother.

— Certainly. Mother in a family under the socially-biological status shows the conservative beginning and at the same time eternally fine. As, for example, classics in art: Тициан, Rembrandt, Гольбейн, Дюрер have created immortal products. No social shocks, any changes in consciousness of people on this painting operate. Any модернисты are not capable to become it worthy competitors for there pass decades, and again from time haze comes up Тициан, taking the place put to it. Here so it is exact also mother in a family personifies classically eternal beginning. But … how not to regret poor mother when she starts незаслуженно to reap the fruits of errors of the society which have littered heads to its children, destroyed fruits of its creative, laborious work which it conducted day by day, hourly, every second!

It is necessary to restore a cult of mother, the woman in all completeness — and then, perhaps, we will get rid of feeling of fault before our mothers and grandmothers.

To me this public problem sees as main the next decades.

— Vladimir Dmitrievich, you said, that the family is strong traditions. Tell, please, to our readers, what traditions exist in your big family?

— Since time of our great-grandmother at us such celebrations when all gather have remained, are the birthdays, New year, 8 Martha … For example, the grandmother starts to bake pancakes on a pancake week — and all here as here. Or, by tradition, завещанной still the great-grandmother, bakes "larks" in the spring, and everyone receives on ruddy "lark". Grandsons from it always in delight. The big holiday — birthday of woman Natasha and Гуги. Who such Гуга? It I. So I was nicknamed by my small grandsons. We once looked the TV, and suddenly I hear, behind the back someone calls: «Гуга!» I also have turned back. It has appeared, younger, Антошка, for some reason thus me has called, and I had imprudence to react. Here since this instant also there was I for all Гугой …

Is tasty to eat at us in a family love everything, the grandmother perfectly prepares the blessing. All of us love its mushroom soup, to an ear, red borsches, potato cutlets with a mushroom sauce and pancakes … we Like to gather all family in the summer on a summer residence. It is necessary to tell, that ourselves, the hands have constructed the huge house on the bank of Volga, in 2 floors, with a cellar. Built it long, almost 15 years, but and it has turned out on glory! I have re-read set of books on building, have made cars for work — a concrete mixer, the elevating crane, joiner's machine tools, and with these adaptations we worked. It should be praised, that now I with skill argue on building affairs and I can construct any house.

The conversation was conducted by N.Novikova